Week #? -- I have no idea. But I am as unresolved as ever!

Good thing I had an UnResolution about writing these weekly UnResolution posts.  I've clearly not kept this UnResolution.   But, no guilt!  Here's what I have been doing...

• ✅HEALTH- Make Good Choices

• 100% Gluten Free diet
• I have had some pretty good success here.  There are so many GF options that I am able to stick to it pretty well. There have been a few missteps and I usually regret it the next day.  Luckily, I've eaten small enough amounts to avoid the dreaded itchy stomach ache.  I call that success - if I can avoid self-defeating food choices.  Who would have thought that someone of my age and education still can't manage to make consistently good-for-me choices?! 
• Weight Watchers Noom tracking every day
• This is gone!  After over a year of plateaued WW success, I have switched to Noom and so far, am feeling great.  Noom isn't just about food, but about the psychology of eating.  Down 5 pounds and making much better choices without the guilt of not going over my "points" for the day! 
• Real exercise 3 times per week
• If painting and cleaning count as exercise, I am rocking this one!  Otherwise, not so much.  Just. Can't. Do. It.  Nike would be so disappointed in me. 
• Decrease sugar and increase water
• Yes and no. Much better sugar moderation. Lots of liquids, not as much water. So weird. When I am in a humid environment I drink gobs of water. When I am in a dry environment I don't. I am just weird. I read all these drink more water tips from friends and strangers and, yet, I just struggle to do it. My best strategy is leaving a glass by the sick and drinking a glass every time I am in the kitchen. So far, it is helping.

✅WEALTH- Prepare for the Future
Feeling pretty good here.  Spent a nice round sum updating the kitchen, but it will be returned in spades when we sell the house and I love it.  Made appropriate changes with my financial advisor.  Maybe March is a good month for a spending fast.  Maybe just trying to do one week of a spending fast is the way to go.  

• Send weekly invoices for your company
• Pay monthly tithing
• Extra payments to mortgage, HELOC, credit cards
• Increase retirement contributions
• Spending fast for 1 month each quarter

🗷WISDOM- Learn and grow
Does watching Rehab Addict count as learning?  I have learned some interesting techniques for salvaging woodwork in historic homes.  Otherwise I am totally crashing on this area.  Yet, there are 9 months left to go in the year.  Plenty of time to learn things and stuff. 

• Take a writing class
• Read 12 books 
• Practice a foreign language 
• Luminosity exercises
• Try at least one new recipe per week

✅FAMILY & FRIENDS - Be present
I feel pretty good about this area.  I have been in contact with friends and family and I think I am making progress on putting my phone down and paying attention.  Have I served like I could be?  Maybe not.   That's a good place to put my focus this month.  How can I serve others - beyond time, listening and being present?  

• Make time
• Listen
• Serve

Week 3 - January 20, 2020 - Gluten Schmuten

AH -- I made it passed the terrible day of January 17th and National Quitters Day.  Unlike resolutions, UNresolutions allow me to have small celebrations and weekly progress.  Resolutions always felt so black and white - I did it or I didn't do it.  My unresolutions this year are allowing me to feel success with even a small step of progress.  Reporting out makes it even more likely that I'll actually follow through.  Research shows this.  I think it is a highly effective use of shame and support, don't you think?  Let's check in, shall we?  How'd you do this week with your unresolutions?  Join the chat below.

HEALTH- Make Good Choices
I made it!  20 days!  

• ✔100% Gluten Free diet

Interestingly, the day after writing my last entry, I fell off the wagon and landed on a pile of gluten.  One bite of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay biscuits turned into two biscuits.  Which led to a stuffy nose, upset stomach and self-loathing.  The next day my sweetheart made me a giant bowl of smoked pasta, which I ate with great relish after only slightly considering making myself a substitute.  I mean he made it just for me -- how could I possibly not eat it?   Through this, let's call it an, experiment I discovered that 1 day of gluten takes about 4 days to recover from.  I haven't determined if the cumulative effects impact that number.  But the damage 2 gluteny days (T, F) have taken 3 days so far (S,S,M) and haven't fixed it yet.  So, if my math is right, I need about 120 years to fix the lifetime of damage -- if I was gluten intolerant from birth.   Luckily, I don't think I was, so maybe I am looking at 40 years.  

• ✔Weight Watchers tracking every day

Yes!  And in just the last two days am I starting to discover the joy of logging a 3 point meal that "wasn't too bad."  

• ✔Real exercise 3 times per week

And today I did put Hank in the truck and went for a hike.  We both need some conditioning, but we did it.  

• ✔Decrease sugar and increase water

Yes! Some.  Some decreased sugar, some increase of water. 

Overall, not a bad week of progress.  I'm feeling pretty good about my journey so far. 

WEALTH- Prepare for the Future
✘Strangely, this hasn't been my priority.  One would think an owner of her own business must pay a little closer attention to this.  Today I will send invoices! Pay tithing! Pay bills! Start my spending hiatus! 

WISDOM- Learn and grow

• Take a writing class

I haven't forgotten this part of the plan, but I haven't quite figured out which class to take.  Do I take a class to help me revise Book 2, which isn't even finished yet?  Or a book on writing fiction for my first fiction book about demons?  

• Read 12 books 🗹

One finished!  Educated by Tara Westover.  I am in the great minority of people who did not like it.   Unfortunately, my addiction to audio books keeps me reading real books.  My thought it is that I will work in the physical books with the exercise.   I have two books started, but, interestingly enough, containing the Dali Lama.   

• Practice a foreign language 

Ahhhh, but which one?  French? Italian?  Portuguese? German? Python? 

• Luminosity exercises 🗹🗹

Yes!  This is the third time I have tried to start a lumosity training program, but this time, because I feel like my brain is broken, I am excited to keep up my two weeks of progress.  Maybe not every day, but I do find my speed, short term memory and spacial figuring is improving!  Of course, I still couldn't remember what I needed to bring with me yesterday 15 seconds after I said what it was, but, great miracles call for great patience. 

• Try at least one new recipe per week 🗹

Sunday night I made Southwestern Turkey stuffed peppers.  

*Disclaimer -- I was out of town Monday to Friday. 

FAITH- Be worthy
Small steps. Sunday's study with Will was so wonderful.  I learned so much about scriptures, the Book of Mormon, and Will's life and experience.  It was one step on my list and just one weekend, but I am uplifted by the progress!  The rest... well, rats. 

• ✘Attend the temple once per month
• ✘Weekly church
• ✘Church choir
• ✘Weekly fasting
• ✔Study Come Follow Me with Will on Sundays
• ✔Morning & Evening prayers

FAMILY & FRIENDS - Be present
I am actually disappointed with myself in this area.  There was an opportunity when I could have spent more time with Lauren before she left town and I did not want to drive 30 minutes to see her.   I regretted it within minutes of getting home.  I wasn't present and I didn't make time.    I had one opportunity right after making this list and I didn't take it.  I won't miss another one.  I used to drive anywhere to see a friend or be with family.   That's changed and I want to get that back.  

On a positive note, I was able to listen to and serve the teachers at Grand Mountain last week and I found I was able to and eager to jump in to help any time I could. 

• ✘Make time
• ✔Listen
• ✔Serve

Week 2- January 15,2020- So About that Exercise Thing

Did you know that January 17th has been declared International Give Up Day? Apparently our short attentions spans and weak constitutions can keep us at our resolutions for 17 whole days!

Not me. I've got 18 days in me!

I've forged ahead greatly with my gluten-free-ness.  While there are possibly a few mg of gluten hidden in some of the things I've eaten, as a whole, I am well on my way to recreating my diet.  What I am not doing is, well, everything else.  Tracking my food intake has helped me increase my sense of self-loathing and exasperation.  My sugar is most certain up and my water intake down.  It seems that perhaps my body heard me say these are the things we should do exact the opposite of these healthy choices. 

At this point, I cannot peg down why I am not exercising.  I have been a pseudo-athlete since age 14.  Now, parking at the end of the parking lot is about the extent of my exercise.   Maybe marathon Costco trips could count - if I skip the samples tables.  Why don't I exercise? Here are some ideas

1) I am afraid of how weak and out of fitness I've become.  While Round is a shape, it is not really the shape I want be in.

2) I am so tired, which of course, I won't be if I actually exercised.  It is a wildly illogical fact of physiology.  If I expend energy, I get energy.   Healthier = more energy.

3) I haven't created a habit and I can't stay motivated for long enough to make that a habit. 

4) Don't see when to do it during the day.  Logically, I know that there is time.  I also know that I am making so many excuses I can't even count them all.  I keep thinking that if I plan my day better it would fit in beautifully.  But the truth is, I choose to not exercise.   I put doing dishes over talking a walk.  I put Facebook on the couch over Facebook on the exercise bike.  There is something behind this bigger than just my butt.

What I have realized is that I am working all the time - either working on my contracts, working on my writing, working on keeping house, working on expectations to family and friends.  This past weekend I realized that I miss the relaxation that I used to get with my regular hikes and outdoor activities. When I moved houses 5 years ago I found myself in a location that made it much harder to get to the mountains.  Then my dog became so weak we couldn't hike.  Quite unconsciously, I became "inactive."  I live near a pond and a lake, and miles and miles of walking paths.  Yet, I don't walk.  Hank has a 1 mile max before he has to rest (or maybe he just gets bored like I do). 

Define the problem: I think the ultimate reasons are a combination of #1 and #2.  I have the gear, I want to be fit.  But most of those clothes don't fit anymore.  And I am so discouraged with my fitness level and tiredness.  I am embarrassed by what I've let happen.  I am embarrassed by my loss of fitness.  I am afraid that I will try and still won't be fit or healthy because it has always been a struggle for me.  What a surprise - that familiar beast is back - fear of failure that keeps me from moving forward. 

Solutions: 
1) Today. At 7:00 p.m.  I am going to find the treadmill in this hotel and I will take those first steps.  2) This weekend, I am putting Hank in the truck and going to the mountains where he can run off leash and stop thinking and feeling bad. I am going to breathe deeply.  And maybe I'll make to the 19th.

HEALTH- Make Good Choices

• ✔100% Gluten Free diet
• ✔Weight Watchers tracking every day
• ✘Real exercise 3 times per week
• ✘Decrease sugar and increase water

Week 1 - Making Good HEALTH Choices -- 100% Gluten Free

6 Days into the year and I find myself loving the freedom of unresolutions!  No guilt!  I celebrate and acknowledge the positive steps.  The first few days have really been about making better health choices and making them stick. 

So far I have been 100% Gluten Free.  As a sufferer of Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, I have known for years that I would feel better if I went completely gluten free. I am fortunate enough to not have the serious reactions of a Celiac sufferer, but I itch, have an upset stomach, feel brain fuzzy, lack energy and hold onto excess weight.  So, one would think that those would be sufficient to convince me to forego the flour. But, ohhhhhhhh, I do love bread -- good crusty bread, chewy pizza dough, crisp crackers, thick soups, fried crab cheese wontons and Indian Naan.   I allowed myself these indulgences in spite of knowing the consequences.  Finally, this Christmas, I decided that it wasn't worth the consequences. 

So far, six days without a wheat-based single cookie, cracker, crouton, wheat-enhanced or gluten-backed bit of food.  I feel more energy.  I am not so exhausted.  Not a single upset stomach in a week.  This is better than a resolution to lose weight.  This is a resolution to gain life.

In this UnResolution Category:

HEALTH - Make Good Choices

• ✅100% Gluten Free     
• ✅Weight Watchers Tracking
• Real Exercise 
• ✅Less Sugar, More Water

Why UnResolutions?

         The general concept of resolutions is based on the human's desire to be better.  To Resolve means that you are setting a goal and are determined to meet it.  This, in and of itself, isn't a terrible thing. It is a good thing, in fact.  However, we have made the New Year Resolution into this yearly self-flagellation of self-loathing, broken promises and, by mid-March, complete disregards for all those hopes for what we want to become.  Or worse yet, we still want to become but we have given up on the hope that we can and are no longer willing to put in all the energy we had on January 1st.  

         So, this year I am doing unresolutions.  I am still aiming to improve myself, but I am not doing it as a traditional New Year's Resolution.   I am doing it, finally, after 30+ years of traditional resolutions - lose weight, write a book, be nicer, pray more, etc.   I resolve to make good choices rather than just make short term fixes. 

         Here is what I am doing.  MAKING GOOD CHOICES.

HEALTH- Make Good Choices

• 100% Gluten Free diet
• Weight Watchers tracking every day
• Real exercise 3 times per week
• Decrease sugar and increase water

WEALTH- Prepare for the Future

• Send weekly invoices for your company
• Pay monthly tithing
• Extra payments to mortgage, HELOC, credit cards
• Increase retirement contributions
• Spending fast for 1 month each quarter

WISDOM- Learn and grow

• Take a writing class
• Read 12 books 
• Practice a foreign language 
• Luminosity exercises
• Try at least one new recipe per week

FAITH- Be worthy

• Attend the temple once per month
• Weekly church
• Church choir
• Weekly fasting
• Study Come Follow Me with Will on Sundays
• Morning & Evening prayers

FAMILY & FRIENDS - Be present

• Make time
• Listen
• Serve

In this blog, I hope to track my weekly progress.  My hope is that in doing these things, I will make positive changes in my daily routine, and see small and powerful improvements in my life -- without the guilt of having broken resolutions.  Come along with me -- we will work together so we don't feel quite so alone and we don't need to feel so bad if we don't make it perfect every day.  

Let's get going, eh? Here we go...