Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Week 2- January 15,2020- So About that Exercise Thing

Did you know that January 17th has been declared International Give Up Day? Apparently our short attentions spans and weak constitutions can keep us at our resolutions for 17 whole days!

Not me. I've got 18 days in me!

I've forged ahead greatly with my gluten-free-ness.  While there are possibly a few mg of gluten hidden in some of the things I've eaten, as a whole, I am well on my way to recreating my diet.  What I am not doing is, well, everything else.  Tracking my food intake has helped me increase my sense of self-loathing and exasperation.  My sugar is most certain up and my water intake down.  It seems that perhaps my body heard me say these are the things we should do exact the opposite of these healthy choices. 

At this point, I cannot peg down why I am not exercising.  I have been a pseudo-athlete since age 14.  Now, parking at the end of the parking lot is about the extent of my exercise.   Maybe marathon Costco trips could count - if I skip the samples tables.  Why don't I exercise? Here are some ideas

1) I am afraid of how weak and out of fitness I've become.  While Round is a shape, it is not really the shape I want be in.

2) I am so tired, which of course, I won't be if I actually exercised.  It is a wildly illogical fact of physiology.  If I expend energy, I get energy.   Healthier = more energy.

3) I haven't created a habit and I can't stay motivated for long enough to make that a habit. 

4) Don't see when to do it during the day.  Logically, I know that there is time.  I also know that I am making so many excuses I can't even count them all.  I keep thinking that if I plan my day better it would fit in beautifully.  But the truth is, I choose to not exercise.   I put doing dishes over talking a walk.  I put Facebook on the couch over Facebook on the exercise bike.  There is something behind this bigger than just my butt.

What I have realized is that I am working all the time - either working on my contracts, working on my writing, working on keeping house, working on expectations to family and friends.  This past weekend I realized that I miss the relaxation that I used to get with my regular hikes and outdoor activities. When I moved houses 5 years ago I found myself in a location that made it much harder to get to the mountains.  Then my dog became so weak we couldn't hike.  Quite unconsciously, I became "inactive."  I live near a pond and a lake, and miles and miles of walking paths.  Yet, I don't walk.  Hank has a 1 mile max before he has to rest (or maybe he just gets bored like I do). 

Define the problem: I think the ultimate reasons are a combination of #1 and #2.  I have the gear, I want to be fit.  But most of those clothes don't fit anymore.  And I am so discouraged with my fitness level and tiredness.  I am embarrassed by what I've let happen.  I am embarrassed by my loss of fitness.  I am afraid that I will try and still won't be fit or healthy because it has always been a struggle for me.  What a surprise - that familiar beast is back - fear of failure that keeps me from moving forward. 

Solutions: 
1) Today. At 7:00 p.m.  I am going to find the treadmill in this hotel and I will take those first steps.  2) This weekend, I am putting Hank in the truck and going to the mountains where he can run off leash and stop thinking and feeling bad. I am going to breathe deeply.  And maybe I'll make to the 19th.

HEALTH- Make Good Choices

  • ✔100% Gluten Free diet
  • ✔Weight Watchers tracking every day
  • ✘Real exercise 3 times per week
  • ✘Decrease sugar and increase water

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